I have spent the first week of this month and a good portion of the end of June, in a spiral of self sabotage. I posted an Instagram story about this a few days ago. Do you ever get into this cycle? What do you do to get out of it?
This is my struggle right now. Getting out of it.
My self sabotage cycle has consisted of setting my alarm to get up to go to the gym and then not going. Saying I will walk at lunchtime and then not doing it. Telling myself I will not binge on the tortilla chips in the cupboard, then binging on them. My issue is not for lack of good planning or lack of setting myself up for success. It is true self-sabotage.
What is the best thing to do when you have a physical or mental health problem? Google it. (Disclosure: I do not believe this at all.) But I did google self-sabotage and found an interesting article on www.pschologytoday.com. Two of the reasons for self-sabotage really resonated with me; control & imposter syndrome.
Control: “It feels better to control your own failure rather than face the possibility of it blindsiding you and taking you by surprise.”
Imposter Syndrome: “As the bar continues to rise — you’re promoted to a new position, you obtain higher levels of education — you feel you only have further to fall when you inevitably come crashing down. If you call attention to your triumphs, it’s more likely you’ll be called out as a fake. This is otherwise known as good ol’ impostor syndrome.”
Link to Article on Self-Sabotage
I have talked to multiple people about this blog and how I feel about doing it. I love it. It is a subject I am passionate about and can’t wait to try things and write about them. I love writing. I love this creative outlet.
I have also expressed how much I feel like I am really putting myself out there. I am opening myself up to criticism. Am I ready for that? What if my numbers never grow? What if no one else ever takes me seriously? I am really uncomfortable taking selfies and videos of myself. I want to not be self conscious about it but I am.
So now that I have diagnosed myself with a bit of armchair psychology, I can start to make some changes. I am owning that I might fail. It will really suck if I do. But I can never succeed unless I am also willing to fail.
Tell me about the hard things you have done. I also would love to hear about your self-sabotage cycles and how you got yourself out of them.
I’d love for you to follow my journey of healthy living. You can follow or subscribe to this blog so you never have to miss a post.